PSY the poet

If you ever wondered what Gangam style is all about... Without all the choruses it reads like a Leonard Cohen poem - if he was smitten and had an extremely basic grasp of the English language.

-

A girl who is warm and humanly during the day
A classy girl who know how to enjoy the freedom of a cup of coffee
A girl whose heart gets hotter when night comes
A girl with that kind of twist


I’m a guy
A guy who is as warm as you during the day
A guy who one-shots his coffee before it even cools down
A guy whose heart bursts when night comes
That kind of guy

A girl who looks quiet but plays when she plays
A girl who puts her hair down when the right time comes
A girl who covers herself but is more sexy than a girl who bares it all
A sensable girl like that

I’m a guy
A guy who seems calm but plays when he plays
A guy who goes completely crazy when the right time comes
A guy who has bulging ideas rather than muscles
That kind of guy

On top of the running man is the flying man, baby baby
I’m a man who knows a thing or two
On top of the running man is the flying man, baby baby
I’m a man who knows a thing or two

Driving lessons

I have always considered myself a fairly proficient driver. That's a lie - I am quite confident that I am the best there is on gods green earth. Years of commuting from the East Rand, which isn't exactly the center of the universe has grounded me in the art.

Jade and I at the ICC

And so I was quietly confident and a little excited when I got offered the opportunity to do some real 'student work'. Fly down to Durban and drive some self indulged golf day patrons around in top end Beamers all day. And then sit on the beach and drink beer while they hacked their way around Serengeti (sic) golf estate.

It turned into an amazing weekend spent with my girlfriend (who organised the 'work' for me). I have however come back with a new respect for just how primitive my baby Volksie polo is in comparison to these behemoths of the road.

Being given the key to a BMW 550 for the first time, one does not simply jump in and put their sheets to the wind. First you need to locate the key slot. I spent five futile minutes devoted to this task before being told by a bemused looking car attendant that it had key less start.

'Right,' I nodded as if I had known this all along and was testing him, 'To the off!' and I reached forward and pumped the engine start button. But to no avail. Foot on the brake, try again.

Eventually I had the extremely quiet 5 liter engine humming gently and hoping against hope that the car wouldn't once again thwart my efforts to get going, I applied some gas.

My first attempt at reverse parking an X6 - with German precision!

The car immediately started beeping in an aggressive manner and the heads up display gave me the evil eye. The hand brake was still up I was told from the now laughing attendant who thrust his head through the open window to give me guidance.

 Eventually... I eased away from the fleet pickup, ego slightly tarnished but ready for a weekend of aggressive driving that had more than a few other close shaves in million rand vehicles.

if it doesn’t come bursting out of you
in spite of everything,
don’t do it.
unless it comes unasked out of your
heart and your mind and your mouth
and your gut,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit for hours
staring at your computer screen
or hunched over your
typewriter
searching for words,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it for money or
fame,
don’t do it.
if you’re doing it because you want
women in your bed,
don’t do it.
if you have to sit there and
rewrite it again and again,
don’t do it.
if it’s hard work just thinking about doing it,
don’t do it.
if you’re trying to write like somebody
else,
forget about it.

if you have to wait for it to roar out of
you,
then wait patiently.
if it never does roar out of you,
do something else.

if you first have to read it to your wife
or your girlfriend or your boyfriend
or your parents or to anybody at all,
you’re not ready.

don’t be like so many writers,
don’t be like so many thousands of
people who call themselves writers,
don’t be dull and boring and
pretentious, don’t be consumed with self-
love.
the libraries of the world have
yawned themselves to
sleep
over your kind.
don’t add to that.
don’t do it.
unless it comes out of
your soul like a rocket,
unless being still would
drive you to madness or
suicide or murder,
don’t do it.
unless the sun inside you is
burning your gut,
don’t do it.

when it is truly time,
and if you have been chosen,
it will do it by
itself and it will keep on doing it
until you die or it dies in you.

there is no other way.

and there never was.

 - Charles Bukowski

Old, dusty pictures of the Fish River canyon

The wait is finally over, lets get going!

Getting flipped off by the locals.

Roadhouses aren't only found on the East and West rand, Namibia is also a fan of the drive in delicacy.

The second biggest canyon in the world. Pictures don't do it justice.

Our constant companion for the five day hike along the river bed. 

Rest stops and bathroom breaks are the primary use of the sparse foliage in the canyon.

The sun was not our friend. Temperatures regularly exceeded 30 degrees, even though it was the middle of winter.

Setting up camp on the first night. To save weight I had decided not to bring a tent... 

Blue moon. Constant annoyance to the weary hiker trying to get a few hours sleep.

The canyon is 95km long and should take around 5 days to complete.

Didn't see the footprints in the sand until after I had taken this picture. But you aren't supposed to admit that.. I aimed to portray the desolation of the canyon through a series of deeply thought out visual layers.

'Yes, that is definitely Table mountain.' - Heard at every bend 

Day three. Significantly smelly to warrant setting up a washing line.

Excuse me while I kiss the sky. 

Is in no way a relevant caption for this image, but its a song that is stuck in my head.

Ais-Ais, a perfect example of a monopoly justifying poor service and high prices. Telkom could learn from these guys! 

That blue note

I started playing guitar as a way of staving off boredom during compulsory prep sessions at boarding school. Convincing my house master that I was part of the school orchestra was no mean feat considering my basic grasp of the D and G chords. But I have continued playing ever since and it is probably the one constant in my life.

And so to my new personal Everest - becoming proficient in the blues. At the moment I am being inundated with theory; the correct way to approach certain notes, phrasing, minor fifths and lots and lots of trying to imitate the great guitarists. 

Of course whenever you learn something new you are bound to become disheartened at one point or another. Thank God for YouTube and these little beauties that keep me learning...

Eric Clapton is often ranked as the best guitarist of all time. His technical style is extremely smooth and comes from years of imitating other artists such as Muddy Waters.

Layla is one of Clapton's most intimate songs. He wrote it for British model Pattie Boyd who at the time was married to Beetle George Harrison. Listening to the words you can hear the anguish and frustration in his voice.

But it worked, he was able to convince her to divorce Harrison and a few years later they got married - no small feat considering it was at the peak of the Beetles fame.The iconic riff of the song was later translated into an acoustic version that is as iconic as the original.

The guitar Clapton plays in the video is called 'Blackie' and is probably the most famous guitar of all time.

While technically a country or blue grass musician, Albert Lee's mastery of the guitar is second to none. His iconic 'chicken picking' style is illustrated perfectly in this song. The extremely beautiful Theresa Anderson accompanies on the violin with a cry baby effected solo thrown in for good measure.

Why do all the good die young? Stevie Ray Vaughan.

And finally, here's a plug for one of my mates from school who is currently doing great stuff in the Durban music scene. The sir Walrus band is their name, go check them out on YouTube!

Interview with Bruce Fordyce

I recently sat down with Bruce at his Parktown home to discuss his new project, parkrun. We also talked about the Lance Armstrong doping scandal and his comrades legacy.

Cold opening: The presidential debate

Its often said that the best humor isn't far from the truth. And the SNL mock presidential debate delivered that in bucketfuls. Hosted by the University of Colorado, the real debate saw a tired looking Obama unable to offer any real defense to the Romney debate. While Romney has been criticized for flip flopping his position on numerous key issues.

The skit which formed the lead for the popular American television show featured newcomer to the SNL cast Jay Pharoah depicting the president while Jason Sudeikis played Romney. The usually left leaning show had no problem in its new role of Obama bashing as it took him  to the cleaners.

Pointing fun at why he seemed so disconnected during the debate, the skit questioned whether he had forgotten about his anniversary (the same night as the debate) or was even struggling with the high altitude in Colorado.

Whatever the reason, it allowed Romney the opportunity to unveil his plan for the country which involves '41 basic elements, including six abrupt reversals of position and three outright lies.' This absurd statement fails to get a rise out of Obama who is still desperately trying to formulate a way to get a last minute anniversary gift for Michelle.

With Obama struggling to stay awake, the skit culminates with Romney claiming that he killed Osama bin Laden.

Another skit on the show has a MSNBC executive struggling to come up with reasons for the poor debate by the incumbent president. His conclusion is that their was a freaky friday-esque switch after Obama and Romney wondered what it must be like, each raising the others kids.

In real life, their are two more rounds to the debate and the competition promises to only get hotter as the candidates fight over the infamous six percent - the number of undecided voters who analysts suspect will decide this, the tightest of elections.

The skit as well as full debate can be found on YouTube.

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Shades of Gray

Having recently conducted a skype interview with HIV researcher Dr. Glenda Gray, I was interested to hear her speaking about the political aspect of what she does. While she is in no way involved with government (although she did help write the Aids bill in 1994) she has had tumultuous relationships with government members. This is a subversive look at the dark side of the beast.

Trying to get funding for the roll out of the drugs she develops seemed to be the order of the day and  that some ministers have been more helpful than others. Screaming matches and phone tapping was all she could expect from the late Dr.Manto Tshabalala-Msimang who was an Aids denialist and would regularly call Dr. Gray to her office to try and shock her.

Allowing drugs to be sent to other hospitals who didn't have stock would result in angry phone calls asking how she dare allow the drugs to be administered.This for a drug that costs R10 and is proven to almost completely prevent the passing on of HIV to unborn babies.

Dr. Gray and the other researchers became extremely frustrated and disillusioned with the entire system of government and on her receiving the Nelson Mandela health and human rights award she feels, 'We got awarded it to protect us. If you are in trouble in a country, the best thing you can do is elevate the status of the people who questioned... And then you become untouchable.'

The current Minister of health Dr. Aaron Motsoaledi is committed to change. He is fully behind their work and in his personal capacity will perform one thousand circumcision - a key factor in preventing the passing on of HIV from females to males.

 It seems that what we heard in the newspapers about the denialism and 'beetroot' mania under the Mbeki administration didn't even touch the surface of how obsessive and deeply invested they were in their misguided ways. It is also interesting to look back with hindsight and see just how much politicians impact on matters that they may know very little about.

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The innocence of Muslim

With political unrest continuing in the middle east over a controversial movie trailer depicting the prophet Muhammad in a negative light, opinion has continued to rage in over who is in the wrong.The movie trailer, is an amateurish production allegedly made by Egyptian Coptic Christian Nakoula Basseley Nakoula who currently resides in America.

The outrage over the movie has seen content host Youtube prevent it from being viewed in some Islamic nations however they have resisted calls for it to be removed from the site entirely.

This after actress Cindy Lee Garcia laid charges against Basseley and Google (owners of Youtube) at the California superior court citing he made her appear to look like a 'religious bigot.' At certain points in the movie specifically where hateful remarks are made, it is clear that audio has been dubbed over what the actors are actually saying.

Despite this, the court ruled Thursday that Garcia would be unlikely to prevail in her attempt to block the distribution of the video and therefore Youtube would not be required to remove it from the site.

Meanwhile Egyptian authorities have laid charges against Basseley and seven others for insulting Islam as well as attempting to incite strife. The charges are largely ceremonial as none of those charged currently reside in Egypt.

As to the question of if the content of the video justifies killing? The Koran states that their shall be backlash for anyone insulting the prophet Muhammad. Does this give Muslim's the right to take another's life based on conflicting opinions or should free speech be allowed to rule?

Salman Rushdie

Whatever the answer only one thing is certain. The Islamic nation is going to take a very long time to forget this incident. Salman Rushdie, author of 1989 book The Satanic verses is still wanted dead in some circles for blasphemous writings about Islam. 

The bounty on Rushdie's head currently sits at $3.3 million. However recent threats in the wake of Innocence of Muslim have been dismissed by the author who feels it was, 'One priest in Iran looking for a headline.' He also had this to say about the movie calling it, 'The worst video on Youtube.'

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US election race heats up

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The US national election heated up last week following the Democratic national convention. Former president Bill Clinton formally recognised Barack Obama as his prefered candidate with an emotional speech that went on for more than an hour. The speech which had Clinton holding the audience in the palm of his hand can be found here.

The resounding performance had this response from Obama who complimented Clinton in a light hearted manner for his support in the race. He also had a retort for the words towards his wife Michelle:

  "As the other men in the audience know, our main goal when we marry is to improve our gene pool.  (Laughter.)  That's why my daughters turned out good.  (Laughter.)  Because you just -- you marry up and you marry somebody superior to yourself.  And you just -- you beg them until they marry you.  (Laughter.)  Persistence is the key."

 As the elections near D-day, many analysts think that the popularity of the Obama clan as a whole could could catapult Barack into a second term. A image of Michelle on the childrens TV show iCarly can be found here.

Despite bringing a more family friendly option to the ballot box, Obama has received criticism throughout his first term based on his failings with his proposed Obamacare as well as the poor handling of the killing of Osama bin Laden.

The American people go to the ballot on the 6th November. A recent poll of New Hampshire voters by Suffolk/7 News sees the race tied at the infamous 47 percent. 

This leaves the 6 percent of undecided voters that both parties have been appealing to so desperately over the past few weeks. Whoever is able to garner the most out of this bracket will most likely fill office at the end of the year.

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South African TATTOO

Tattoo has returned to South Africa for another years run and I was privileged enough to receive complimentary tickets from Alphabet Soup Media. The show is an open air format that see's various Scottish pipe bands attempt to out (blow?) one another.

The shows tag line Blending the traditional spectacle of massed pipe bands with a uniquely African flavor rung true as the mainly local ensemble gave a world class performance that climaxed with the singing of the national anthem as a huge South African flag was pulled across the arena. 

This years show also featured the Johannesburg Harley Davidson owners club who gave a syncronised display to AC/DC's Thunderstruck. The sight of burly leather clad mustaches weaving deftly between each other in a controlled show of grace brought tears to more than a few eyes.

Also on display was the Affies girl's choir and Benoni rock band Haggis and Bong who's out of control rock antics contrasted beautifully with the precision of all the other acts. Seeing these hooligans attempt to march along with the Transvaal Scottish proved to be the highlight of the day. 

Due to the open air nature of the event combined with freak weather in Joburg over the previous few days, organizers have been forced to cancel a number of shows. In a statement on their website the organizers apologized for events out of their control and offered a refund of tickets - something that is not done at many other open air events.

Waiting at a cross roads...

A day in the life of people I see on my commute.

                           

Hot cakes!

After reforming in 2011 the world has waited in anticipation for a new album from The Darkness. Since their 2005 hit album One way ticket to hell and back, the band has taken a break in order to pursue solo ventures. Despite the long break this album picks up exactly where they left off. Musically very similar to previous offerings, the album relies heavily on the piercing vocals of lead singer Justin Hawkins.

The band will be touring South Africa later this year, opening for Lady Gaga on the Cape Town leg of her born this way tour.

The first single off the album:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lEhgNW-l2Ys

The scum of the earth

All Journalists are scum. At least according to a lovely lady I met the other day...

For those who don't yet know, I Au pair two young lads in the upmarket area of Sandton and one of my responsibilities is coercing them to go to swimming practice twice a week. My job ends once they are bundled into the pool and then my own personal horror begins.

You see their is very little to do at the side of a swimming pool - its why we drink so much waiting for our water polo games. Unfortunately Planet Fitness disapproves of this practice and so I am forced to endure 45 minutes of 'polite' conversation with Sandton mummies. 

It usually centers around two topics. Either how well their kids are doing in all aspects of life (having no kids myself it tends to be a rather one sided topic) or how terrible their child's particular school is. Having gone to a great school I struggle to relate to this and generally tend to suggest they send 'Precious' to boarding school. Hey, it worked for Spud.

Yesterday one of the mummies was telling me how her two young charges had been at O.R Tambo to welcome back the SA Olympic team and how terribly they had been treated by the Journalists trying to get pictures of the athletes. 

As far as I could determine, someone had stepped on her child's foot in the melee and this constituted a gross violation of media practice (or something even more insane). Anyway I let her rant fizzle out before informing her that I was in fact a journalist. And judging by her child's attempt to coordinate her breaststroke she probably stepped on her own foot.

We were at Oppi this past weekend and saw some amazing bands. But one of the highlights for me was running into a Photo-Journo who has already cut her teeth in the industry. She did her masters in war journalism (how cool) and her blog is here:

vsmeets.wordpress.com

Juggling on Oxford

Travelling through Sandton, one can not help but be impressed by the quality of busking on show. It was on the corner of Oxford and Corlett Drive that I came upon this gem of a man. Clearly already a master juggler, when I first approached him he was attempting to juggle and ride a unicycle - with hilarious consequences. Setting down the bike for a second he agreed to an impromptu photo shoot. 

In no time the bike was back out and I was treated to a lesson in the finer art of balancing what-was-not-designed-to-be-balanced. Ten minutes and a bruised pelvis later I realised that I was not cut out for this profession.

Along with the tarmac in my side, I was left with a memory to treasure from our city. The mans enthusiasm for what he does as well as a willingness to engage with a complete stranger is what is captured in this image. And one that shall be remembered by me every time I drive through the streets of Illovo. 

The watering hole

Sport has always been an important part of my life. I have also always had a special affinity for water sports in general. This photo was taken at Victoria Lake Club where I paddle and is one of the places where I feel most at home.

The sense of family within a club is also important and the picture from within the bar looking out is an expression of this. The bar forms the social center of the club but is not the most important aspect. This can be seen from the reflection of the water in the mirror.

The first image was taken late in the day with the sun behind me. The shutter speed was set to 1/50 of a second with a wide aperture. The second was with the same aperture and a 1/2 second shutter speed to compensate for the lack of light within the club house.

Walk to paradise garden



William Eugene Smith was an American photo-journalist most known for the vivid images he took during the second World War. He worked for both Newsweek as well as Life Magazine. Working as a correspondent during the Pacific phase of the war, Smith was injured by mortar fire. Unable to handle a camera he was forced to take a break from photography.

The iconic image of his two children walking into a forest clearing was one of the first he took after recovering from his injuries. It forms a stark contrast to some of his more gruesome images.

An image that I happened to take in a similar style to that of Walk to paradise garden occured while hiking the otter trail last year. Coming towards the end of a long days walk, it was an immense relief to leave the forested trail and relax beside the sea.

Having spent most of the day within the shades of the forest mainly taking pictures of birds, my camera was set to a high ISO and fast shutter speed.