Crushed beliefs - London '12

The South African woman's soccer team has not had the best of starts to their Olympic campaign. They lost their opening round match to the Swedish team tonight. The result isn't a huge surprise based on Banyana's underdog status in the tournament. The match did  however challenge a few traditional ways of thinking.

Mainly my belief that all Swedish woman are hot. Having lost interest in the soccer quite early on(three nil down after twenty minutes will do that to you) I pulled out my notepad and began the complex process of choosing my personal 'Swede of the match'. 

I won't go into detail but suffice to say 'ability to kick a soccer ball' is not one of the requirements.

Having started with a full squad of eighteen I soon worked my way down to just a handful of peroxided lasses. The sea of yellow started playing havoc with my eyes, I developed tunnel vision and a severe migraine. But I would not admit defeat. I toiled for most of the second half but to no avail.

I was finally forced to conclude that their is not a single noteworthy 'belter' in the entire Swedish squad. Using this data as an accurate and reliable cross cultural demographic of Swedish woman one can extrapolate some shocking results. They are a nation of pale giants with crew cuts.

As the reality of this situation sank in I felt like a young child on their eleventh birthday. Having just missed the Hogwarts express... and being told that it doesn't exist. What is next? The Swedes don't believe in having a team masseuse?

While my whole belief system slowly crumbled  apart around me I barely registered a consolation Banyana goal. 

The match ended 4-1 to Sweden.

Note: An image search prior to publishing this article revealed that all observations are completely inaccurate. Except the final score of course.